It’s called a roller coaster for a reason

First you go up, the long steep hill that leads to the excitement of the ride.  It’s a slow ride to the top and then a brief pause before the ride really begins.  The lead car teeters at the top and then, almost without warning, it drops.  Down that hill fast and furious, then suddenly up another hill going fast and headed straight for that tight curve, and more hills, more valleys and a few more tight curves and then you come back to the station and the ride is over.

That is how I feel on my weight loss journey.  I feel like I keep going up and down, over and under, tight curves and fast and furious hills. The valleys are the worst because those are the times that I feel the worst about myself.  Those are the times that I hate how I’ve allowed myself to get to this point.  I start one diet after another and fail one diet after another.  I know that the successful weight loss journey is not about dieting, but about lifestyle change, and I know that’s the only way to be successful.  So how do you change your lifestyle?  How do you find the tools to do this?  Are there more tools than changing food habits and exercise?  I know those two are the main tools in becoming healthy, but there is more I can add right?  Well of course there is.  Some of you reading this have already figured where I’m going with this,and yes, I’m going there!  Weight loss surgery is another tool that can possibly be added to the journey to help make it successful.

I’ve been researching Lap Band for quite a while now.  I’ve read and chatted on forums and I have found, good, bad and really bad and really good results.  It all depends on the person.  I’ve read about losing weight and how it’s harder as you get older, and how sometimes a person’s body just fights weight loss with everything it has.  I don’t think my body is fighting, I think my body is confused.  I think my body doesn’t know which way to go.  I will be 280 lbs one day and then a few days later down to 278, I stay there a while and I go way down to 268, and then a week later back to 280.  It’s a numbers game.  I’ve found my blood sugars follow this same pattern, low, then high, then really low, and then back to a moderate range.  Again, it’s a numbers game.  I have to be losing weight because my 4x clothes are way to big.  I’m comfortably wearing 2x clothes, with a few 3x’s thrown in depending on the clothes.  So this is good, and this is progress, but what made me start to think about Lap Band again was that I need to make better progress.  My children need me to make better progress.  My husband needs me I to make better progress.  Lastly, I need me to make better progress. .  My body will only handle so much before I start facing serious complications from diabetes, before asthma hits hard again, and before my heart gives out.  I know this seems dramatic, but it is very dramatic fighting for your life.  That’s what I’m doing.  I’m fighting to save my life.

So on Monday January 29th I’m going to an appointment with a  surgeon.  I’m having a consultation regarding Lap Band.  It’s taken me awhile to get to this point, but here I am and ready to tackle it.  I had to overcome the thoughts that having weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out.  There’s nothing easy about weight loss.  There’s nothing easy about learning to be healthy after having a band placed around your stomach to help you control your eating.  There’s nothing easy about the exercise that will be required and the healthy choices that will be demanded.  I don’t know if I will have the surgery or not, but I do know this is a step I have to take in order for me to keep going on this journey.  Surgery or not, I’m determined to make this lifestyle change.

Running….what’s the deal with running?

I will admit from the moment I was born I was not meant to be an athlete.  Think more Scarlett O’Hara instead of any female athlete you can name!  I love to rest and recline and honestly just be lazy.  I plan days in my schedule to just be lazy!  I love it!  Unfortunately, being lazy doesn’t go along with getting healthy in 2014.  So I’ve looked into several different types of fitness.  I’ve looked at boxing, gym membership, boot camps, swimming, and running.  So what’s the deal with running?  How do you start? Can someone as overweight as I am really run?  Is running a good form of exercise?  So many questions.  I don’t know if I have it in me to run, but maybe it’s something I should try.  I don’t know what will come of this but I do know that I must add exercise to my daily life or I won’t complete my journey to a healthier life.

For food today, I had some great leftovers and Shakeology, and Chinese Veggies with Quinoa.  It was really good.  My kids inhaled it, well Mack and Seth did, Ms. Emma Claire had to have peanut butter and jelly.  She basically lives on that.

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So far the only food I’m missing is cheese and eggs.  I love them both, but it’s not going to kill me to be without them.

Any thoughts anyone wants to share on running please feel free.  This girl has got to get movin!

It’s 2014…what’s new?

Ok I have  been MIA.  I know this.  Life has been busy and I’ve been lazy neglecting my blog.  But I’m back.  I have made a new commitment to my blog and will be here regularly.    So you ask what’s new? (maybe you didn’t ask, but I’m going to tell you anyway!)

January 2014 has slipped in quietly.  I ended my weight loss journey in 2013 with a total loss of 35 pounds!  I am excited about that.  I am starting 2014 with a new commitment and a promise to myself that 2014 will be my year to get healthy.  On January 5th I started a new plan.  I am following the Daniel Fast as a guideline for health.  I need to stop right here and say I am not fasting in the biblical sense of a fast.  I am doing this all for health  and just following the Daniel Fast guidelines.  Fasting is a very personal thing to me, and something to be done in private, blogging about it is not what fasting is about for me.  So having said that let me tell you about this journey!

January 5th I started with fruit for  breakfast.  After church we went to Applebee’s for lunch and that was tough.  I ended up choosing a salad and tomato soup.  It was good and filling, and tomato soup is always good!  For supper that night the kids weren’t very hungry so they had sandwiches and I had a nice salad.  I’m finding the key to this whole thing is preparation.  I had gone to the store and stocked my fridge and pantry with good food, and with healthy choices.  Being prepared makes failure less possible.

Yesterday I had a Shakeology shake, with blackberries, pomegranates, strawberries and bananas.  It was delicious and again, very filling.

Lunch I fixed a nice veggie whole wheat pasta salad and it was as tasty as it was pretty!

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Last night for dinner I made a veggie bean tomato based soup which was also very good!  Today was just leftovers and I’m going out to dinner with my mom for her birthday.

For those not familiar with the Daniel Fast basically you can have anything plant-based. Additional restrictions are no sweeteners and only drinking water.  The last one is only hard for me because of giving up coffee!  I have a massive headache here on day 3 but I’m pushing through.    It’s a process and I’ve committed to eating like this for 21 days.  While I’m not doing a traditional fast I still consider this a spiritual journey.   1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”  In my opinion I haven’t been doing that.  Being overweight has not been an honor to God.  That’s why I’ve chosen this journey.  I want to be clear, I do not believe that God is displeased with people because they are overweight.  This is just my personal journey.   This is what I feel God has been telling me.  So please don’t misunderstand what I”m saying.  Each person has their own personal journey and this is just the journey God has given me.

I’ll be here to update more often and keep ya’ll posted.  I’m excited to see where this journey takes me!

Operation Birthday

Tomorrow I am officially beginning “Operation Birthday.”  My goal is to be under 200 pounds by my birthday.  That means that between 11-11-13 and 04-30-14 I need to lose 84 pounds.  So to help with the math I weight 284 pounds.  Now that’s out there for all to see..but it’s going to change.

When it comes to weight loss I’ve done it all.  If there’s been  a diet plan, more than likely I’ve tried it.  I’ve done baby food diet, Jenny Craig, cabbage soup diet, Weight Watchers, Shakeology, Optifast, Weight Down Workshop, Free to be Thin, LA Weight loss and so on.  Of all of these and many more I think the ones that have worked best for me have been Shakeology and La Weight Loss.  I’m currently using Shakeology and I have decided to incorporate what I knew from LA Weight loss into my plan.  Along with these plans I established rules.  Ten rules for Operation Birthday.

1. Failure is impossible if I don’t give up.

2. Food is for energy, not boredom.

3. Carbs: cut in half.

4. Homemade not processed.

5. Protein is power.

6. Less meat, more veggies.

7. Exercise will not kill me!!!!!

8. Water, Water and oh yeah, more water. Water is beverage #1.

9. ONLY 2 cups of coffee, no more! when wavering see rule #8.

10.Sunday is my “day off” that does not mean total binge day, but relaxing a bit on Sunday is okay.

This is not going to be easy, but in the long run it will be so worth it.  On my birthday I will post a final picture as a conclusion to Operation Birthday and it is going to be amazing!!!!  For now, this is my before picture…..I’m ready to see the change!

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Never say Never

I said I wouldn’t.  I said I couldn’t do it again.  I said that our family was complete.  I said we spend so much time out and about between school activities, ice skating and therapy that it wouldn’t be fair.  Over and over I said I wouldn’t do it.  Then I saw her picture.  She was beautiful.  She would be a perfect for our  family.  Joe and I talked about it, and we talked with our kids about it and  we finally decided we would do it.  So we made the call.  Yes she was available and we could adopt her soon.  We were so excited!!!  I couldn’t wait to do her nails and fix her hair.  Emma was thrilled and Mack and Seth were overjoyed.

So today we went to get her.  All the way across town we pulled in and got where she was and saw her in person.  She was beautiful.  We knew right away that her name would be Penny.  She was so sweet.  Here let me show you a picture!

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Yes, that’s right folks we got a dog!  She is so sweet and I’m very happy with our selection.  She’s a rescue dog from the Humane Society.  Penny is a Brussels Griffon Terrier.  She was in a home and she was surrendered by her owner.  Just a few weeks ago she had puppies and then she came to the Humane Society.  That is our great fortune!  Penny Lane (yes that’s what I named her.  The kids think it’s Penny from Big Bang Theory!) is here to stay and we love her very much!

Ok be honest how many of our friends thought we had adopted another human baby???? LOL

Here’s more of Penny Lane!

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Bad blogger!

So I’ve been a bad blogger. I have once again neglected my little blog. I wish I could say I was wine tasting in Italy, or something more exotic, but in reality, I’ve been home running crazy with my husband and kids!  In August my husband had Achilles tendon repair.  He has basically been down on the couch since then.  Next week his cast comes off and hopefully he will be more mobile.  He has been helping, getting the kids ready and such but I’m the driver and running kids to and from therapy and school and anything else they do!  Don’t get me wrong I love being a mom, but it just makes me more tired at the end of the day and I tend to go to sleep instead of blog!  I will get back into the habit, maybe even tonight!